steph's stuff

Just a picture

We're having a mono relapse and no one is very happy at our house these days, so I just thought I'd post a pretty picture.  =)  My girls excited about school starting.  Unfortunately, they've both missed tons of school already, but no need to focus on that.  I love that my girls love school and am thrilled that we are able to send them to their school.

Okay, I know it's a bit lame, but I'm trying to focus on being grateful for the small things.  Work with me, people.  =)

Trust

Trust is such a simple word.  It's only 5 letters and its meaning is fairly easy to comprehend.  When it's there, you take it for granted.  When it's not there, it's a massive void that nothing can fill.  I've been trying so hard to control my feelings of mistrust and the consequential anger that follows about a family member of mine.  I've done it for years.  Not always very well (my sil calls me "the big mouth" but I prefer "the one who dares to question" - LOL), but I've bitten my tongue so much I'm surprised that it's not scarred all the way through. 

And, ya know - I'm not going to anymore.  My space has been violated and I won't back down on this one.  My email account was accessed and used without my knowledge or permission and now that person is denying it.  Unfortunately, it's as simple as going into my sent folder to prove it.   Although getting replies to emails that I didn't send was another large clue.

What a shame - all the way around.

Our day

Please bear with me - typin' 1-handed.  Em's ok - she did great at the dentist's, but very sore & worried about how she looks.  Not up to finishing her LO.  I'll let U know when I post it - LOL!

Still mad at MIL for approx. 15 million reasons.  grrrrrrrrr..... have decided that we won't let her babysit again for some of them :(

Burned a finger badly today while cooking.  Hence, the abbrev'd posting.  Been wrapped in ice for hours and it's still killin' me - big blister forming.  Will return all emails soon.  Posted 1 thread in the pub today and realized it hurts 2 much 2 type.  I was soooo mad at mil that it was worth the pain, though. ;)

Have great idea for tormie's book of 10, but can't scrap.  arghhhhhhhh

Please leave comments and/or praise on anything in my gallery so I at least have something to read. haha!!! =)

A List...

of just random steph stuff:

• I've spent a lot of time this past week playing with black & white conversions and I may never go back to color photos.
• I've discovered new photo paper - Epson Premium Luster Paper.
• Because of this paper and my new conversions, my photos totally intimidate me now and I can't scrap them.
• My dh helped me sketch out a LO today after watching me frantically looking at the sign that I based it on.
• We went apple picking today and I took 200 photos.  Will post tomorrow.
• I'm so dang mad at my MIL I could spit.  Won't go into details.  Bleck.
• Emily, my 7 yo dd, has to have FOUR teeth extracted on Monday and I'm terrified.  We have an Rx for valium, plus she'll have novacaine and laughing gas, but I'm still terrified.  (Her orthodontist has said that she has the "worst teeth" he's ever seen in 25 years of practicing, so we're pulling her baby teeth ahead of schedule to try and help the adult ones come in a bit straighter.)
• What's my precious dd going to look like with all of those missing teeth???????
• She and I are going to spend some quality time scrapping together tomorrow without the little ones.  She wants me to post one of her LOs at 2peas - LOL! 
• She spent some time reading my journaling on the GGG LOs and is now really thinking out her journaling - it's sooo neat. =)
• My SIL wanted to see my GGG LOs, so I showed her the site where they were and she called me in tears after looking at them.  And, that's a good thing!  =)
• Tomorrow is Sunday.  I used to love Sunday mornings, but with Sunday School and church, half of my day is gone.  Blah.
• Torm's Book of 10 is such an awesome idea.  Until you realize that no one else can admire them and give you the warm fuzzies in the way of praise. :(

Contests

The past couple of days have been so up and down for some of my scrapping friends.  MMM calls and now AF calls.  And, a lot of my friends have been very disappointed - some of them twice.  You would think that I would be one of them.  I entered both of these contests.  And I didn't win either one of them. 

I didn't tell anyone about entering Arctic Frog because it was my first design team contest and I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to be on a design team.  It had never appealed to me.  But, for some reason, I decided to enter AF.  I made this decision and did most of the layouts way before I got the GGG email.  I discovered by doing the GGG assignments that I loved doing assignments.  And, I mean really, really, really loved doing the assignments.  I loved knowing that they were going somewhere, that people would see them, that they would be "endorsed" by someone other than myself.  And, that knowledge pushed me to a creative level I hadn't previously experienced.  I loved every sleepless, scary minute of it.  I also felt myself come into a groove - a real style groove.  And at that point I knew that I would not win a spot on the AF team.  The AF layouts that I had created were not me - rather they were what I though Alannah wanted. 

I did, however, create one more AF layout after I did the GGG layouts - one more LO where I used these papers the way I wanted to and not the way I thought Alannah would want them used.  And the difference is striking.  This layout - this layout is me.  This is my style.  And this is the only one that I loaded into my gallery tonight.  This is what makes me feel good about scrapping and photography and the whole kit 'n kaboodle.  It is completely irrelevant that I didn't make the team.  In fact, I've been waiting for the announcement to be over so that I could get this all written out.  What matters is that I've so enjoyed this process and that it has all clicked within me.  If I could go back and redo some of those GGG layouts, I would in a heartbeat.  But, I won't.  Because that's my learning process literally on paper for me to look at.  I don't know what else this hobby holds for me, but I know that I am happy with not winning this contest.  And, surprisingly, I really look forward to entering other contests because I can't wait to learn more about myself and my creativity.  Because when I scrap for me and not for someone else, I can't lose.

***ETA:  I just have to say how completely impressed I am with the way Alannah handled this contest.  I received an email this evening letting me know that I was in the top 39 - the 39 that she had narrowed it down to after 2 rounds and struggled with to narrow it down to the top 10.  Besides being completely surprised, I am so completely impressed with the kindness and professionalism that she showed in that email.  What a wonderful lady!

That's my boy!

"Mommy, why you put on dat Bahney show?  Me don't like dat Bahney."

That's my boy!

Rock on, little dude!

Already????

Well, this may go into my Book of 10.  So, never mind! ;)  And, if you don't know what a Book of 10 is, just ask Torm! =)

Who knew Gardening could be this much fun?

Gardens.  Garden Girls.  Never in my life would I have imagined that these words would mean anything significant to me.  If you had asked me last Monday what my scrapping goals were, I would have said maybe getting published a few more times.  Inside, I would have been secretly whispering to myself that my goal was to be a Garden Girl someday, but I probably would never have vocalized it.  There are sooooo many people more talented than I who deserve that honor.  I scrap for fun.  I try to get published for fun.  Yeah, I've thought about making scrapping into something more, but I'm still so new at it that other goals really weren't realistic for me.  So, I'm playing.  And, I'm making friends.  And then, I got an email on Tuesday that shocked me.  Guest Garden Girl?  ME?  Really????  And now I don't know what to think about my goals, except to think that this is way more fun than I thought it would be.  And that I am very humbled by the inspiration that I am able to receive everyday. 

And, here's the story for those that have asked and missed it:

Last Tuesday, September 6th, I was at my computer uploading some LOs into a private album because I didn't have time to write all the journaling right then. My little gmail notification box jumped up beside me and it said "Kristina - Guest Garden Girl." I stared and stared at that little box until it went away, then opened my email as fast as my little fingers could type. I read the email and, being as dorky as I am, I started crying. I read it about 3x to make sure it was addressed to me and it was really from Pea and then I called my husband. Because I was crying, he thought one of the kids was much sicker. When I calmed down, I posted the "well..." thread to the pub.

And, then that afternoon, I got a dozen red roses from dh which translated into one of the GGG LOs. =)  So, thanks, Kristina! ;)

I started scrapping that night and finished my 10th LO on Sunday night.  I slept about 4-5 hours/night from Tuesday-Saturday, but I was never tired.  I had such an amazing adrenaline rush going on that I simply couldn't sleep.  Kristina's deadline for me was today, Sept. 15th, but I really wanted to get them to her sooner than that, so I emailed everything to her on Tuesday.  I had no idea when the announcement would be made, but I certainly didn't imagine that it would be today.  So, double surprise when I woke up and saw Lisa's thread! 

I have always killed any and all gardens that I have planted.  But, oh, this is a much better Garden and though I am playing just a wee bit part, I am loving it! 

This is one of my simplest GGG LOs, but also one of my favorites.

this. is. madness.

Someone in this house has been sick since August 16.  There has not been one day go by since then without at least one sick person in this house.  Yes, that is almost 30 days.  Elizabeth first, followed by Emily, followed by Andrew (who overlapped with Emily for almost a week), and now dh.  He's at the end of day 4 and is not getting better.  He's only missed work 2 days in his entire life - once with bronchitis and once with pneumonia.  He went into the office for 4 hours on Monday, 3 hours on Tuesday, and didn't even get out of bed today (Wednesday).  So, I know he feels very, very sick.  And, there's nothing to do but wait it out.

I know I've whined about this before, but I'm at the end of my rope.  30 days of taking care of people.  30 days of not sleeping through the night.  30 days of waiting on people - bringing them advil, cool cloths, ice cream, gatorade, and on and on.  I. am. at. the. end. of. my. rope.

So, here's the question.  How the heck did a 4 yo get mono?  And then pass it on to the whole freakin' family????  Except me - I am not going to get sick.  I repeat - I am not going to get sick.  Repeat after me - Steph, you are not going to get sick.

sigh.  i know it could be a lot worse.  but, geesh, i'm so done with this.

Another b&w

I just love this one!  So much that I'm going to make it into my new banner!  Andrew and I were taking a break from waiting on a sick Daddy (ugh!!) and went outside to play.  He grabbed an inner tube that we take to the pool and threw it down on the lawn and snuggled down into it.  So cute!

For notes on the b&w conversion, please see my previous entry. =)