steph's stuff

Organization 101

Ah, life gets chaotic sometimes.  And, I don't deal well with chaos.  Ironically, though, my house is often chaotic - I tend to live in piles.  Piles of clothes that need to be put away.  Piles of the kids' school papers to be looked through and sorted.  Piles of "need to be filed" papers.  Piles of toys to be put away.  You get the idea.

So, when life dealt us an unexpected medical issue last week, things got even crazier.  All of a sudden, I had doctors to call, appointments to make, research to do, books to read, new food to buy, gluose testing monitors and various attachments to deal with.  More piles.  And these were important piles.  Literally, life and death piles.  So, they simply could not get lost in the chaos. 

Enter Organization 101.  I've spent time this week going through the piles and giving everything a home.  Cleaning, purging, organizing.  Controlling that which I could control.  Which helped me to manage and deal with that which I could not control.  And, for some reason, that is making me feel better. 

A little happy dance

Don't you just love it when a layout just comes together perfectly?

I have one that I did over a month ago that I've just been sitting on because I love it so much and I keep pondering HOF.  So, I sent it to my mentor (the best mentor EVER btw - former HOF'er but that's all the info. I'm giving out ;) ) and she said that it's "got it all", definitely save it for HOF and don't change a thing!!  Yeah! :D

Although, I don't know if I'll ever scrap again - sigh.  Whenever I sit down and look at pictures or even try to journal, I just tear up.  Ugh.  I think I'm just going to have to push through the tears - I'll probably feel better after anyway.

But, for now, I'm doing just a tiny bit of a happy dance!

I love my kid!!!!!!

I updated about Emily in the pub, so I won't bore you with the same update here, but I have to tell a funny story about this morning.  Last week, I had a very long phone call with the director of the diabetes center at our hospital and we set up a meeting for today.  Originally, the director had asked to meet with me alone and then bring Emily in later.  I suggested that we have Emily in the room for the entire thing - I explained that Em is gifted, reading at an 8th grade level and is devouring all of the books I can give her about diabetes.  I told the director that Em is already well-versed in the medical terms and is handling this extremely well.  So, the director agreed that Emily needs to feel that we're not hiding anything from her and that she should come to the meeting. 

So, we showed up this morning and I don't know if the director forgot about our conversation or saw how young Emily was and doubted her abilities or what happened, but she started off with "Hi Emily.  I'm going to talk to you about something in your body.  Do you know what organs are?  Good, now - beside your tummy you have this little organ called a pancreas..."  Imagine a sing-song voice that you would use to talk to a three-year-old.  I didn't say a word and just let her go on.  After about 5 minutes, I was dying - I just wanted to laugh or roll my eyes or something and then Emily suddenly blurts out, "I know.  I know.  I've read all this stuff for the past week.  I know what a pancreas is.  I know what insulin is.  I know about testing.  I know what my glucose levels are and I know why mine are irregular.  Could we just skip to the part about whether I'm going to need to start giving myself insulin injections or not? I don't want to miss too much of school today."

I love my kid!!!!!!! :D

Oh yeah - the black frame

I just remembered that a few of you asked about how to make the black frame.  There's probably a much easier way to do it, but here's how I figured it out.  Oh, and I use PSE3.

Go to Image, then Resize, then Canvas Size.  Choose white as your canvas extension color.  Add 1 inch to both your image height and width. Click ok.

Then, do it again (Image>Resize>Canvas Size), but this time choose black as your canvas extension color.  Add .2 inches to both your image height and width.  Click ok.

Save and you're done!!!

***Note that you may have to change the sizes to make the white border larger or smaller and to make the black frame appear thinner or thicker depending on the size of your file.

As an example, my precious Emily.

No blog update from me

I feel the need to update my blog, but I really don't know what to say.  My brain is simply shutting down on me.  Scrapping????  What's that?  Normalcy????  What's that?  So, no blog update from me.

I hate doctors

I am not normally one to post a blanket statement like that, but after just 24 hours of this, I HATE DOCTORS!!!!!!  Our goal is to keep Em out of the hospital - pretty darn good goal if you ask me!  So, how am I supposed to do that if the doctors won't call me back when I have questions, won't call me and let me know her lab results, won't take my call when I called to let them know that her numbers were higher than they were supposed to be.  Yesterday, I was told to call if her numbers hit 200.  Call ASAP in fact.  Her numbers hit 214.  I panicked, I calmed down because I remembered the doctor said to CALL if that happens.  After 15 minutes on hold, I was told the doctor will have to call me back.  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!  I hate doctors!  I have no test results - I don't know if we're going to end up in the hospital tonight or not - I don't even know how to feed her dinner tonight.

I HATE DOCTORS!!!!!

And, yes, I am also switching doctors ASAP!!!!!!  I am so angry I could spit!!!!!!!!

***ETA: Okay, I've calmed down now a bit.  I finally got through to the doctor right at 5 pm.  Of course - it always happens this way - Emily is a rare case. :(   Basically, the doctor said that she's never seen another kid be diagnosed this early in the progression of the disease.  Type I diabetes technically doesn't have a "pre-diabetic" state like Type II does, but that's what Em is in.  They can tell by her numbers that her pancreas is shutting down, but it hasn't shut down yet.  So, we watch her closely, test her levels constantly and wait.  Wait for her numbers to go sky high and wait for her to get sicker. She can't start insulin until her pancreas shuts down more than it has, so we have to wait for her to get worse before we can make her better. It could take 24 hours or it could take a year.  I still can't believe this is happening. :(

Our lives have just changed

I took Emily - 7 yo dd - to the pediatrician's office today for a regular check-up and within two minutes, the routine urinalysis caused chaos in that small office room.  She has Type I Diabetes - also known as juvenile onset diabetes.  I am in total denial.  This can't really be happening.  She's healthy - she's not sick.  She's so strong and energetic and confident.  This can't be happening.  All of a sudden, our lives have just changed.  Starting tomorrow, we start massive blood tests, followed by consultations with specialists - she'll be insulin dependent for the rest of her life.  This can't really be happening.  She's a healthy kid.  What is going on?  I don't know what to do - where to start reading - how to feed her.  I don't know how to take care of her anymore.  This can't really be happening.  I know I sound off the wall right now.  I feel as though I'm having an out-of-body experience.  I know, I know - she could have something much worse, but right now, THIS is worse.  This is not what I expected.  She's a healthy kid.  I don't know how to take care of my child AT THIS MOMENT.  At this moment, I don't know how to keep her safe if something happens.  I can't believe this is happening.

Watch out world

because Andrew's got wheels!!!  Yes, they are battery-powered wheels and, yes, I am a nervous wreck when he's on this thing, and, yes, he's only 2 years old, and, yes, it's getting too cold out to ride it, BUT it was a free hand-me-down thing from a friend, it makes him VERY happy, and I get to be the fun parent for a little bit! ;)

P.S.  I mastered that black frame, too!

photo corner punch

Ah!  The infamous photo corner punch and those who have it are too {cool}!  Therefore, it makes sense that I do not have said infamous corner punch.  Unfortunately, I'm too much of a dork to be {cool}.  I'm not trendy nor do I really watch trends.  But, if I see something that I love, then it is IN to me.  For example, I've just recently discovered {gasp} 7 gypsies papers.  Others have been using this paper for years, but not me.  It just didn't hit me right.  Until now.  So, now it's IN. 

So, I saw the awesome photo corners, loved them, but they didn't scream at me to use them right away.  Until now.  And, alas, no photo corner punch.  Remember, this is the not trendy, too dorky to be {cool} part.  So, I pulled out those trusty scissors and went to work and voila! I made my own.

Another example of the not trendy, un{cool} me - this is a 12 x 12 layout on white Bazzill - too dorky to put the lovely black border around it for easier viewing.  Sorry.  This is one of those things that I need to work on.

***ETA:  Sorry - had to take out the pic of this layout.  Apparently, Fred Brewer from CK liked it as much as I did!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Signs

Once upon a time, a lifetime ago, I dated someone other than my dh.  Was, in fact, going to marry someone other than my dh.  But, this story is not about that someone, but rather about his mother - Jule.  I've been thinking about Jule since yesterday - when I realized that Barbie has a house very close to where she used to live and where I lived for a year. And because everywhere I turn, I see signs of breast cancer awareness month.  Her son and I were together for almost 5 years - our 4 years of college and the year after.  She was a second mother to me in every sense of the word.  And, she was one of the best friends that I will ever have.  She was 61 and I was 21, but the age difference didn't matter.  Looking back on it now, I was probably happier when I was with her than I was when I was with her son.  I realize that that should have set off alarm bells in my head, but hey, I was only 21.

After he and I broke up and I moved back to Maine, I thought my life was over.  I missed both of them dreadfully, but the loss of her presence in my life was similar to the loss of my father's presence in my life after my parents' divorce.  Maybe even harder because I was an adult.  However, it was really just her physical presence that I lost.  She called me all the time, wrote to me weekly, and when I met Tom three years later and we got married, she and her husband drove to Maine from New Jersey to be at my wedding.  It meant the world to me.  Little did I know that that was the last time I would ever see her.  After I was married, we continued to write and call weekly and she was still an enormous part of my life.

As I was carrying my first child, she told me that she had breast cancer.  While I was devastated, I knew that if anyone could triumph over this disease, it would be Jule.  And, I was right.  She made it through - more spirited and beautiful than ever.  But, it was not a happy ending.  The cancer came back a few years later in 2001.  She was very weak, but the doctors gave her a great prognosis and I truly didn't worry much about her.  We had to correspond by email because of her weakness, but other than that, not much changed.  Until one day she didn't respond to my emails.  And then I got an email from her granddaughter telling me that she was gone.  Very unexpectedly. 

As you can imagine, I was devastated.  I was not able to make it to her funeral and felt terrible about not having said good-bye.  A couple of weeks after her death, I was outside with my girls when a beautiful monarch butterfly landed on my arm.  I was stunned and for some reason, the first thought that popped into my mind was that it was Jule - telling me that it was okay and that she was okay and that she was still there for me.  All I had to do was think about her. Until that day, I don't think I'd ever really seen more than one or two monarch butterflies.  But, from that day on, I've seen them all the time. And they always seem to slow down around me.  I've had them land on my windshield while I was at a stop light, land on the porch railing when I was out there reading the paper, and even land on my arm again. I KNOW she's still here.

So, the psa of all this - check your boobs, ladies.