January 7, 1968 - 14,235 days ago - that's how long it's been since I was born. I've been in denial about my age for years now. I had my first child at 30 and I think I've been sleep deprived ever since because it doesn't seem possible that I'm nearing the end of my 30s. But, today is my birthday and I am 39. Surely, I was supposed to have felt like a grownup before now? Surely, I was supposed to have figured life out by now, right?
Then why do I still feel 15? I can remember the angst of my sophomore year in high school like it was yesterday. I can remember the pain of college days like it was this morning. If you had asked me about age during either of those periods of my life, I would have told you that I would have life all figured out by 30. 'Cause that was the age of being a grown up - truly mature, probably married, on your way to financial security, home owner, etc...
Well, LOL - I sure would have been wrong. My life was just starting at 30. And, now, 9 years later, I still don't have a darn thing figured out. Except that maybe the point is not to figure it all out. Maybe the point is to struggle through it everyday and just enjoy the process. So, that's what I'm doing. Just trying not to worry about the age and just enjoy the process.
