steph's stuff

What the heck is this?

 

We have a huge bush/tree beside our garage that is covered in these burgundy thingies. The bush/tree was about 6 feet tall when we moved in and grew to well over 10 feet tall. We finally cut it back to about 6 feet tall again but it's just so huge, we're thinking of ripping it out. But what is it? These burgundy thingies (they're not flowers, but I don't know what they are) are not soft petals. They are hard - similar to how a pinecone feels. Does anyone know what this is?

I'm off to clean our den/scraproom. In fact, it's so bad that I can't see the couch, the floor or my desk. I have boxes and boxes of CM product everywhere, prototypes that need to be put away, a Studio Calico kit that I'm dying to work with, empty boxes and packing material that need to be stored, an incredible mess from working on layouts in there all morning yesterday, plus about 3 loads of laundry. I told Tom and the kids that I'm grounded. I'm not allowed to do anything today until the den has been cleaned.

Just call me Mrs. Green*

 

*A former colleague dubbed Tom "Mr. Green" because of his environmentally-freaky tendencies. For the first two years, I totally resisted all things that were environmentally friendly for various good and simultaneously stupid reasons. But, I am coming around and really enjoying a lot of it.

This is our teeny-tiny raised veggie bed. It's 3' x 3' so we have 9 square feet. We went this small for a couple of reasons. One: we have never tried growing veggies before and didn't want to take up half of our yard with something that was going to be a total failure. And two: we spend two weeks in Maine each summer and, while we have someone who watches the house for us, we didn't want to impose upon that person's work schedule by having her water a huge garden twice/day. And three: because of the second reason, we wanted to try a self-watering garden container that we'd heard so much about and this was the only size we could afford. LOL!

That photo above is of the kids trying to break up the huge brick of peat that we bought. We put a bunch of different things into our soil, based on online recommendations and on someone at the gardening store's recommendation. We have peat, organic miracle gro, mushroom compost, and basic potting soil in our container.

 

We let each child have 3 square feet - basically a 1' x 3' row and they each decided what to put in their row - it was all their decision. Based on local availability, some of their choices will start with seeds and some of them are starter plants. Andrew planted carrots, peppers, tomatoes, and onions.

 

Emily planted an herb garden, along with some other things. She has basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary, parsley, peppers, tomatoes, and cantalope. (And yes, we know that this is way too much stuff crammed into one little space - we put the overflow into a separate green container on our back patio.)

 

Elizabeth planted tomatoes, three kinds of lettuce, cucumbers, and a white flower. She had insisted on having at least one flower in there. :)

 

We are really hoping that the kids will get some life lessons out of this, as well as enjoying growing their own food. They just loved the planting and are feeling very protective of their plants and seeds so far.

 

I'm having a bit of fun photographing this whole little experiment. :) 

 

The markers are simply plastic silverware stuck into the soil. Libby wrote on them with a Sharpie.

 

Cannot wait for the fresh herbs!

 

And here's our little garden. I'll keep you updated with its progress and about how well the self-watering garden really works. :)

Husbands come first

 

I know I said that I would post pictures of our new veggie garden, but husbands come first. :) I took these photos last month and just couldn't find a way to scrap them. I love them so much and just couldn't figure it out. Finally made myself work with just a couple of them (I have a series of 50+) and that was the key. Because the focus really is on the journaling on this one. Full credits here.

Journaling: The kids look so forward to Tom coming home from work every day. They know that when Daddy arrives, the fun begins. The minute he gets out of the car, they are ready for him and he never, ever disappoints them. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Veggie garden pics to come tomorrow, for sure! Here's a sneak peek:

Our first flower bed

When we moved into this house, almost exactly 8 years ago, there was a beautiful, big flower garden on the north side of our backyard. It was full of flowers that we didn't have a clue about, except one - I recognized the sunflower. And it was beautifully designed because there was something blooming in it from April to September. So, the previous owners had really known what they were doing.

The second year we were here, I weeded it a bit and still thought it was beautiful, but I had a 4-year-old, an 18-month-old and was newly pregnant with my third baby. So, it was way low on my priority list. Year 3 brought a brand new baby in the spring and a sewer line that exploded about 3 feet from the flower bed. Our backyard was torn up for most of the spring and summer and I never even looked at the flower bed, let alone weeded it.

Year 4 brought a bit of attention, but just a bit. I cut out some things, weeded it a bit (but didn't know what was a weed or a flower by that time), and was really overwhelmed by it because it was getting overgrown. Year 5 brought a bit more attention - I cut out a little more of the overgrown stuff, we laid down some weed resistant sheeting and planted two shrub roses and some lavendar along the edges. Years 6 and 7 just brought total abandonment. :p It was just way too overwhelming at that point because it was completely overgrown and weeds grew up through the sheeting. So, we decided to just let it go completely. We swore that we were going to tear it all out every spring, then it got too late.

Finally, this year, we made a different decision. We were going to tear it all out like we had said, but instead of just planting grass seed, we decided to try our hand at building a new flower garden. And that's what we did this weekend.

Here's a before shot. Be warned - it's really bad. Completely abandoned.

 

You can't really tell in this photo, but it's basically an oval-shaped bed with some basic black edging around it. The edging has been completely taken over by grass in this photo. It was just a huge eyesore and a huge embarrassment for me. I hated having people over and just stopped inviting them because I was so mortified by the state of our backyard. The only other recognizable thing in this photo is the large iris.

However, it looks a lot different now and, let me tell you, I am totally in love with gardening. Who knew?!?! Maybe I'm just getting old, but I could putter in there all day now that it's done. I'm dreaming about going to plant nurseries and I want to dig out another bed soooooo badly. So, here it is now. It's actually a bad picture, but I was so covered in dirt that I just snapped a quick shot and that was it.

 

The only color we have in it now is the salvia, but the shrub rose is about to bloom, the lavendar should bloom in the next week or two and I may throw in some annuals, too.

 

My favorite part is the stone path! And I can't wait for the peonies and azaleas to bloom. :)

 

Love the salvia!

And that's just one of the projects we worked on this weekend. Tomorrow, I'll show you our first veggie garden. We must be either really motivated or really stupid to try all of this first-time gardening in the same year. LOL!

Note to self

 

I had to scrap this moment. It was huge for Libby and huge for me. Full credits here. And I just saw that it was selected as a Gallery Standout, too. Cool!

Life is getting back to a routine in a very good way. We're home this weekend, gardening for all three days. I've never liked gardening at all. Never. But, my fingers have been itching to get outside and garden for the past two months. I must be getting old. LOL! Yesterday, we dug out a 14 x 17 perennial bed, planted and mulched it. Today, is a raised veggie garden and lots more weeding and mulching. Fun!

Have a great weekend!

How I found out I did not have breast cancer

The past five days have been a total blur. After finding a lump in my breast on Sunday, I called multiple doctors and couldn't be seen until today. This week has been surreal. I found that I had to get out of the house to stay sane. I needed to be really distracted by something at every minute, so I've barely been home. I haven't scrapbooked, cooked, or even cleaned the house. I would get the kids out of the house in the morning, make plans for things to do outside of the house, get ready and leave. It was the only way I could cope. I couldn't talk about it, I couldn't call my mom, I couldn't even think about it. I used to be so confused by Stef's desire to be alone or stay so busy when I thought she should be surrounded by friends or even resting. And now I get it. I totally, totally get it.

So, by the time today got here, I was out of my mind. I was trembling as I walked into the radiology department and they took me right in. I was definitely on the verge of a panic attack. The tech was very, very nice and then expressed astonishment that she could feel the lump as she was setting up the mammogram. I knew it felt large to me, but it took me by surprise that it did to her as well. She took tons of films and went out to look at them and then came back in, saying that she couldn't tell what it was, but it didn't look okay to her. Panic attack two set in at that point. So, she took another film and magnified it for the radiologist.
 
She went to show him the films and he came back into the room with her and told me that he was very concerned. He said that the lump was about the size of a walnut and that the edges were fuzzy, which is not good. I think part of me went numb at that point. He took a deep breath and said, "Sooooo....I want an ultrasound of it right now." He said he was walking me down to ultrasound himself and that he wouldn't let me leave today until he was able to diagnose it.

At that point, I thought I was dying. That was it in my mind. He was very serious and kept taking deep breaths in between each sentence. It was easy to tell that he was being very careful with his wording but that he was very concerned about the size and the fuzzy edges. And he kept using the word "concerned." I was then positive that not only was it malignant, but also Stage III or IV. It was, without a doubt, the worst 20 minutes of my life.

We got to ultrasound and he kicked an old lady out that was just walking into the room (and, yeah, that made me even more nervous) and put me on the table immediately. The ultrasound tech immediately felt it and was very concerned, too. She was a real sweetheart and knew how scared I was. She explained the procedure and promised that she wouldn't keep anything from me. She said she'd tell me her thoughts throughout the procedure but that the radiologist would come back in at the end and either confirm what she thought or not. The radiologist then walked out and the tech started.

She was very, very quiet for a bit but then took a deep breath and said, "Whew. Good news. You have three large cysts. The edges are fuzzy because they're all lumped together." It took me a few seconds to realize that that was good. I finally said, "Can you be really sure with just an ultrasound?" And she said yes and went through all kinds of other things to doublecheck and explained all of them to me, including that the sound waves were amplified going through it, meaning that it was filled with fluid, there was no vascular involvement at all and the doppler showed only clear fluid inside all three cysts. By this point, silent tears were just rolling out of the corners of my eyes and she was just so calm, giving me reason after reason why it was not cancer.
 
The radiologist came back in and told me I had given him quite the scare. I said, "YOU?!" And we all laughed as tears were running down my face. I told him and the tech that I was going to buy them both a drink and he said he would hold me to it. So, now I have to find a great bottle of wine to send to both of them because I fully intend on keeping that promise. :)

I don't think I will ever be the same again. My respect for cancer survivors has increased tenfold (ten millionfold) and I think my whole outlook on life has changed. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I am a different person for having gone through this.

Tomorrow - it's back to our day-to-day crazy schedule and I couldn't be happier. Thank you so much for all of your support, hugs, and stories. :)

Living in a fog

 

This photo was taken from our bedroom window of the cottage we stay in every summer in Maine. It is truly a slice of heaven on earth. And in only 5 1/2 weeks, we will be back there. I wait all year for our two weeks spent there and I'm starting to think that I enjoy the month leading up to the trip almost as much as the trip itself. The anticipation, the excitement, the kids jumping up and down as they watch the calendar getting closer and closer - it's all just magical.

First, though, we have to get through the end of school. Next Thursday is our last day and I think I'm as excited as the kids are for them to be done.

And now, an entirely different subject:

I've been debating about putting this last bit on my blog for the past couple of days. My first thought was to not say a thing because it would seem overly dramatic and draw too much attention to myself. My second thought was that it's my blog and who the hell cares - if it helps to write about it, then write about it. And then I've come to the conclusion to write about it for an entirely different reason. I've told a select few people and have been astonished by how many women have had the same experience. I just had no idea how many women have gone through this. And it helped sooooooo much to hear them talk about it. So, if you have any support, prayers, or happy stories to share with me, I would love to hear them!

So, what the heck am I even talking about? Well, I found a lump in my breast on Sunday. It's rather large and, of course, I'm scared. I called my doctor immediately yesterday morning. The soonest they can get me in for a diagnostic mammogram is Thursday. We went round and round with a couple of different offices and even some stand alone imaging centers and no one can see me any sooner than that. So, I'm sitting here waiting. And hoping. And trying to stay as positive as I can. 80% of all lumps are benign - I know that. If I'm totally honest, though, I will admit that it feels as though I'm living in a fog. Stef advised me to stay very busy and that is helping a lot! I've tried to scrapbook and simply can't. That goes into a different part of my brain that I don't want to go into right now - the creative, emotional side of me. So, I'm going to stay busy and work on some household chores and do lots of kids' events over the next week or two. And if you have any thoughts about things that would help while I'm waiting, I would love to hear them. :)

It could be a lot worse

 

I've had something that's been running through my mind for the past month. And it's become sort of a mantra for me. It's something I keep repeating when I get overwhelmed, crazy-busy with scrapbooking deadlines, running to school event after school event and even through family issues. I'll find myself saying it over and over again and I don't even realize that I'm doing it. It's not a big, meaningful, quotable phrase and it doesn't mean anything to anyone other than myself. It's simply, "At least I'm not still at THE JOB." And it means everything to me.

Because if I was still at THE JOB, I would still have all of these school events and I would have to miss them. And that would be soooooo much worse than racing around trying to get to all of them. And I wouldn't be working for Creative Memories and I LOVE working for them. I don't talk about my CM work much on my blog simply because I can't post anything that I create but I just LOVE this job! It's been such a wonderful scrapping job for me and I adore everyone that I work with.

And if I was still at THE JOB, the extended family issues would still be here - they would probably be worse because I would be so overwhelmed with THE JOB that I wouldn't be able to spend the time with my little family and truly appreciate how much that means to me. And I would be only one week away from having a nanny take over my kids for the summer while I left them to go to work. And that was the worst part for me. I appreciate a break from my kids just as much, if not more, than other mothers, but our summers have always been sacred. I am very lucky not to be at THE JOB anymore (thank you, honey!!!!) and I just don't want to forget it.

So, when I'm tearing my hair out over how to balance 3 school events in one day, followed by 2 the next day, and obnoxious emails in my inbox while I also have 7 layouts to make that day and I can't even find my desk (see photo above), I realize that it could be a lot worse. :)

Minute-by-minute

 

Racing around trying to meet deadlines, handle school stuff, ignore family emails and hold my head high, and then I'm taking a day off this weekend!!!!!!!!!!! Don't even have time to watermark or frame this photo before I post it - Andrew and his bff (who will be going to a different school next year *sniff, sniff*) enjoying a friendship moment at Olympic Day.

But, minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, I'm catching up and will be back to blogging ASAP!!!

And, hey, I'm looking for some good dieting tips - I'm getting kind of bored with what I'm doing, so give me your best tips!!

I want my life back

 

I know it gets boring to read about how busy other people's lives are, so I won't drone on and on about it much anymore. But, honestly, I've NEVER been this busy before. As in 2 or 3 different appointments, events and/or deadlines every single day. I didn't have time to do much food shopping last week, so I didn't have any good-for-me food in the house, so of course, the diet got blown. And then I've had so many places I have to be at that my work outs are getting fewer and fewer, too. It's so darn discouraging. And, then we also have the family drama. Which, OMG, is just so stupid and I'm done with it. It's like junior high. On the other hand, I've had some great photo ops. Just no time to blog them or scrap them. 

I don't think this post even makes sense. It feels like "blah, blah, blah, I'm so busy and I'm whining, blah, blah, blah." So, if it feels that way to you, too, it's okay to say so. I just want my life back. And I hope, with only 3 weeks of school left, that it will happen soon.

Oh, and the photo above is from one of our weekend excursions last weekend. We volunteer at a local YMCA camp with the rest of Tom's firm and do all of their spring cleanup and gardening. Just love this photo of Tom and Andrew. :)