We have just made a really tough decision about Emily's involvement in a local play and it's really bothering me. I hope we're doing the right thing. I think we're doing the right thing. But, I'm struggling with the reaction that is going to come our way.
Emily loves theater. She loves her drama class, was the top performer in her grade for her school's speech team, feels totally at home being on stage, and has absolutely no nerves about public speaking. She's an independent, eloquent, self-confident kid on stage and loves to perform in any way. Not only does she enjoy being the center of attention but she also loves being back stage. Last year, she was the stage manager for her school play and this year she was the assistant director. (Photo above taken a couple of weeks ago at her play's final performance)
So, when an opportunity arose for her to try out for the local civic theatre's rendition of "Suessical! The Musical" about 6 weeks ago, she jumped all over it. She was called back for all 3 lead roles and the production staff spoke very highly of her. She did not get any of the leads but was given not just one supporting role, but three supporting roles. We were all excited and very proud of her.
However, the first rehearsal resulted in more tears than I've ever seen her shed. She was totally miserable, overwhelmed, and scared of the production staff. She begged for us to allow her to quit. We wouldn't even consider it. We feel very strongly that if you make a committment, you stick with it. I told her that, gave her lots of hugs and told her that it would get better. She cried herself to sleep that night.
Fast forward to today. She is six weeks into rehearsals and is still crying herself to sleep almost every single night about going to rehearsals. I've never seen her this unhappy. She's had a few run-ins with the director over missing rehearsals when she was sick and, frankly, I've been quite unhappy with some of the communications with the director, as well. And I'm worried that she's forgetting that Emily is only in 6th grade and just turned 12 - most of the girls that are in Em's group are older and teenagers. I won't go into all the details but I've had just a few hairs on the back of my neck stand up with some interactions with this director. And I think I understand why Emily is scared of her. Em feels singled out and picked on and I tend to believe that this director might do that.
And Emily's reaction is simply totally out of character. She loves to perform, she doesn't shy away from long hours and hard work and this is not like her at all. I'm been struggling horribly with forcing a child to do something that makes her cry herself to sleep every night. This was supposed to be a fun experience and it's turned out to be just the opposite.
So, after weeks of thinking about this, we decided to pull her out of the production. We are not going to make any friends with the theatre company by doing this and it could come back to haunt both Emily and me in the future in a small town. Her absence is going to cause them more work and they're going to be angry with us. And Emily will most likely be in class with some of her now-former castmates at her new school next year.
But, I feel as though I have to stand up for her right now. And, while others are going to be angry that I'm not doing the right thing for the production staff by pulling her out, I can only hope that standing up for my kid is truly the right thing to do.