steph's stuff

Missing Maggie

Thanks so much for all the sweet comments and emails about Maggie. We are still very sad. More than anything, I didn't anticipate how difficult watching her die would be. It was extraordinarily peaceful and couldn't have been easier for her but I simply had no idea how difficult it would be for me to see her put her head down between her paws and take her last breath. I've had nightmares ever since and I'm just kind of shocked at how much it has affected me.

I know that time will help, too. Right now, I still see her coming around the corner 10x/day or I think I hear her bell in the mornings. And that will get better, I know. The constant reminders will start to fade and life without her will seem a bit more normal, as surreal as that feels like right now. Tom and I got her just a year after we were married so she has been a huge part of our family since before we had kids. She was our first "baby" and we've really never been without her. We even took her on all of our vacations until we had kids. LOL!

What's funny is that many people didn't even know we had a cat. She was shy and quiet and didn't like new people so she would hide on someone's bed the entire time we had visitors. But, when it was just us, she was either on our laps or very close by. She took turns sleeping on the kids' beds and it's been very strange for all of us to put the kids to bed without her.

We will miss her forever and she will always be with us. 

And just to quickly address this issue: we've gotten a lot of "but she was JUST a cat" comments (and one email) this week and some confused looks, too, when we express our sadness. To that, I really can't respond. Because the people who make those comments aren't going to understand, no matter how much I try to explain. Until you've had the love and constant companionship of a furry friend for 16 years, there's just no way to explain. So, I don't. I smile a little and change the subject. And we move on. It doesn't change how much she meant to us.

Ode to the Best Cat in the World

 
We had to put our nearly 16-year-old cat, Maggie, to sleep this morning. Tom and I have had her almost since we met. But her kidneys were failing and it was the right thing to do. The end was very, very peaceful and our vet was as wonderful as he could be. But it was very difficult for all of us. Emily wrote this letter to Maggie last night and I thought posting a portion of it, as well as the title that she wrote, was a fitting way to say good-bye. As Tom said this morning, Maggie was so much more than a pet. She was a member of our family and we will love her and miss her forever.

Maggie Mae -

I love you. You are the best, furriest, fluffiest cat in the world. You smell sooooo good. You are always there to comfort me. Broken wrist? To your furry little face I scurried. Same with mean boys, bad grades, or family spats.

And now, the time has come for you to leave us. You've been around 15 and a half years, and now you're elderly. Peeing on your parent's bed is never a good sign, I guess.

I love you. You've always been there for me, and you've never let me down. I can't believe how sad I am right now. It's like a curtain is over my head, a veil is blocking my eyes and ears and everything I see and hear is distorted. I almost can't breathe for grief.

I love you, will always love you, and I will remember you. One day, I'll tell my kids about the best cat in the world, Maggie Mae. And hey, if I'm lucky, I might even see you again. Whenever I look at a stuffed Tigger, I'll think of you, my furry little baby, older sister, confidant, best friend.

I love you.

There is a teenager in the house

 
It is almost impossible to believe but Emily turned 13 yesterday. There are some days that I'm totally good with that and love the young woman she's becoming. And then there are days when I look at her and still see this:

She will always be my baby but she's quickly becoming a grown-up baby. :)

Her birthday was stretched out over 3 days. It seems to be the way we schedule things around here, especially when birthdays land on a school day and we're all only together for a few hours in the evening.

Her birthday celebration started with a mother-daughter lunch at Olive Garden on Saturday at her request: her four best neighborhood friends and the moms.

 
The next day was her birthday present. She had requested only books for her birthday but really wanted to pick them out herself. So, we got her a hefty gift card to Barnes & Noble plus she had saved up Christmas and birthday money and gift cards so she had a lot of money to spend. She and I spent 2 hours there on Sunday and she came home with 20 books and money left in her wallet for another trip.

 

And then, finally, on her actual birthday, we had her cake. She wanted something to do with British rock bands and we found a Dairy Queen that would put a British flag on an ice cream cake. She put The Who on top and it was all good!

 
We're not exactly sure why they put the ellipses after The Who...?

But she didn't really care.

Her favorite part was the shopping but my favorite part was seeing her with her siblings when she was opening presents on Sunday morning. She really is like their second mother - she's an excellent babysitter, she helps them, she orders them around (haha!), and takes care of them whenever she needs to. And they ADORE her. As soon as she opened the presents from each of them, they couldn't contain themselves and both Andrew and Libby launched themselves on her. They just love her to pieces and were so happy to give her presents. You can see the love and adoration on their faces.

 
Happy Birthday, Emily!!!! We love you!!! 
 

No more lazy photos

I used to have a photography business. It became sucessful, everyone praised my photos and I made some money and some new friends. I stopped doing it after a couple of years so that I could go back to work full-time. And I've always wanted to go back to it. But every time that I have contemplated it, I realize more and more how lazy my photos are. I rely exclusively on natural light and that pretty much forced me to shoot outside almost all of the time when I was shooting for clients. And I knew enough to get some good shots almost all of the time, but I didn't know enough to get GREAT shots much of the time. I made clients happy with shots like these:

 

 
They're okay shots. But not great by any means. And I was never happy with the outcome. I definitely got better with time but I knew that it was partially luck that my shoots were going well. Weather conditions could still fluster me and I didn't know my camera well enough. I was very lucky that I didn't ruin more shoots than I did (two were nightmares and I had to do re-shoot them).

This past week, when I was in Vegas, I was stuck in a lot of low-light inside situations and I froze. I got some decent ones, some terrible ones, and some so-so ones. But, the panic I felt has stuck with me all week long.

So, I'm going back to the basics and then I'm going to push myself to use manual all the time on my camera. I'm going to be auditing Karen Russell's photography class this winter/spring and I am so excited! Before Karen's class starts, though, I'm also going to be re-reading and re-reading Katrina Kennedy's ebooks and tutorials at DesignerDigitals. Katrina is a master and I can't wait to dive back into her tutorials. 

A weekend away

I spent this last weekend in Las Vegas with the amazing Creative Team and designers from DesignerDigitals.

Photo by Katie Pertiet 

We stayed at the Venetian and it was stunning!

 
It was probably one of the best trips I've ever been on. I'm still trying to come up with the right words to describe it and I'm failing. I am tired and missing all of them horribly right now and I think that's a great way for a trip to end. :)

Postage stamp Quilt Along

The minute I saw that Rachel Griffith was having a Quilt Along, I was hooked! I love everything that Rachel does at P.S. I Quilt.

The pattern calls for a Jelly Roll and I just so happened to have one that Santa brought me for Christmas. :)

 

It is the same fabric that I used for this quilt but I'll be using the entire line of fabric, not just the dark browns.

I absolutely can't wait to start this one! 

Running around this week

I am literally running this week after buying a treadmill for my birthday! After 18 months without any serious running, I started up again last week and was pleasantly surprised to see that I didn't have to start from square one. I was able to run 1.3 miles on day one and am now up to 1.7 miles without walking. I am super, super slow - my kids are much faster!!! - but that's okay. My goal is to hit 2 miles without walking by this weekend and I have a feeling I might just make it. :)

I'm also running around this week because I fly to Vegas with some friends on Friday!!!!! I'm getting very excited but also have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing how much I have to get done before I leave. I'm sure my husband has lots of fun things planned with the kids while I'm gone but I also know that he would appreciate it if I left him with some clean laundry, some groceries and a game plan for the kids while I'm gone. Plus, I need some new walking shoes and have to unearth my summer(ish) clothes. Looking forward to 60 degrees and sunshine! Especially after this weekend - we got 24 inches of snow this weekend and it's a whopping 9 degrees out right now. Brrrrrr.....

January 7, 2011

I've gotten into the habit of blogging on my birthday - I think I've blogged on January 7th since 2006. I looked back at previous entries this morning and it's kind of a neat way to keep track of time and where I am in my life. One year, I was totally down and it showed in the blog entry. One year, my husband was tied up elsewhere and so I went shopping all day to cheer myself up. And one year, I got very reflective and the whole blog entry is now hard to read. LOL!

So, for today - yes, it's my birthday - I thought I'd simply make a list of 43 random things that are going on in my life as kind of a time capsule when I read back through my birthday entries. No need to mention what the significance of 43 is, right? Right!

1. Finally took down the Christmas tree last night.
2. I've never kept the tree up until my birthday and I wasn't going to start this year!
3. I woke up to a Facebook wall absolutely full of birthday wishes - and I'm still overwhelmed. I have the best friends!
4. Going to Ruth's Chris for dinner tonight - worth every single calorie! And penny. Oy!
5. My present this year was a treadmill.
6. I ran 1.3 miles on Wednesday, 1.3 miles on Thursday and hit 1.5 miles this morning!!!!
7. I'm going on a trip next weekend with some girlfriends and am starting to get really excited about it.
8. Libby going back to school today after being home sick all week was the best birthday present.
9. I neeeeeeeed my alone time.
10. Loving winter in the new house! The snow, the scenery and fireplace just make it all so cozy.
11. I am a little freaked out by Emily turning 13 in two weeks. A teenager?!?!
12. I'm falling back in love with digi scrapping in a big, big way.
13. I'm not sure I've ever been this content not working in my entire life. I've been grateful to not work before but never truly content about it. And I think I really am.
14. I'm working really hard this year to make experiences happen more for the family. When we didn't go to Maine this summer, I concentrated on making other memories with the kids - trips to the beach, letting Emily go to the mall without parents for the first time, working on their bedrooms with them - making memories that mean something and not necessarily spending money on things.
15. Tomorrow, we're taking the kids to the Grand Rapids Art Museum to see Diana - A Celebration. It's the international traveling exhibit about Princess Diana that includes her wedding gown, personal heirlooms, and examples of her humanitarian works. The tickets were one of Elizabeth's Christmas presents. She read a biography of Diana this fall and is now a bit obsessed. It will be an experience. :)
16. Emily is catching on - for her upcoming birthday, she asked for a Mother/Daughter lunch with 3 of her best friends and their mothers. :)
17. We ARE going to Maine this summer and I am soooooo excited!!! I can't wait to see my grandfather and to find a new place to stay this year.
18. I'm running out of things to say...............oh wait - quilting! LOL!
19. I am loving my new sewing machine! It's sooooooo quiet. (photo below)
20. I have a bunch of vintage fabric I scored on Etsy and I don't know what kind of quilt to make out of it. Suggestions????? (photo below)
21. Quilting has become a sanity saver for me.
22. I'm making myself finish the quilt I'm working on before I buy any new fabric but it's really, really hard waiting.
23. I think I may have kicked my Coke habit - the soda kind. :)
24. I will never kick my chocolate habit. Sigh.
25. I'm trying to cut our budget this year. By a lot.
26. My goal for this month is to buy only those things that we absolutely need. 
27. My trip out of town is going to kind of hamper this goal but I'm going to try to only buy souvenirs.
28. By the way, coffee while traveling is a need, not a want. :)
29. My husband has lost 3 pounds in a week simply by cutting out the sugar in his coffee and a glass of wine in the evening. It is NOT fair.
30. I adore my husband. I am a very, very lucky girl.
31. I need to write an update on the kids and their new schools. The summary is that they are all very happy.
32. I am so proud of my kids!
33. Libby forgot to take her epilepsy meds for 3 days/row while she was sick. I almost died when I realized it. We are very lucky she didn't have a seizure!
34. As I type this, it's snowing quite hard outside and it's beautiful.
35. One of my favorite things about this house is the hill in the backyard. Best sledding hill around and the kids are having so much fun with it!
36. Gratitude goes a long way towards happiness. Really, it does.
37. I'm about to start an online photography class and I'm more than a little nervous. But excited, too.
38. Is it okay if I admit that I love being home alone? I love my kids more than anything but I'm a better mom when I have peace and quiet without them every day.
39. This birthday isn't bothering me but the one coming up in 2 years is.
40. If you've taken all the time to read this list, you're probably bored by now. For that, I apologize.
41. I probably would have been better served by cleaning the house.
42. I am so grateful for my family this year.
43. Can't wait for another year to get here!

And now the pictures I mentioned above:

 
The vintage fabric. Any suggestions or pattern links?

 
Thanks for reading! Today and everyday!

 

The story of the gnome

One morning last week, the kids and I were headed out on errands and I spotted something in one of our snowed-over flower beds and vowed to look at it when we got back.

As we were driving past the house and pulling into the driveway later that afternoon, I spotted it again. I slowed down and said, "Am I crazy or is there a gnome in our yard?" Emily saw it and started yelling, "Oh my gosh! And it has a Texas Longhorn on it!" She rushed out of the van and picked it up.

It was a University of Texas gnome.

He is just so darn cute, isn't he?! But how did he get in our yard???? It had to be someone who knew about Tom's UT obsession which really narrowed it down to family and a few neighbors.

We tried to call Tom and tell him about it and couldn't reach him. We also started emailing everyone we knew and asking them to fess up. The day went by and the hysterical emails started pouring in from everyone denying any knowledge of the gnome. Several people said they wish they'd thought of it! It made for a fun day for the kids and me - reading the emails and trying to figure it out.

And then, at the end of the day, we heard from Tom. He texted me, "How did you find him??? I didn't think you'd find him until spring!!!"

"What????" I texted back. "YOU put him in the yard???"

Turns out that Tom's secretary gave Tom the gnome as a Christmas present. Tom was a little freaked out about sneaking more UT stuff into the house - knowing that it makes me a little twitchy. He also thought that the little guy was pretty ugly and that there was no way I'd let him keep him. So, he put the gnome in one of the gardens thinking I wouldn't find him until spring.

What he didn't count on is that I'm the Mommy and a Mommy always know when something is out of place. LOL!

So, the mystery is solved and I love the little guy! He's taken up residence on top of our covered patio set in the sun porch and this is what greets me every morning when I look out the back door.

 
I'm thinking he needs a University of Maine partner in crime this spring. ;)

One Little Word 2011

Many of you are familiar with Ali Edwards' concept of One Little Word. Ali has been using this concept for over 5 years now and it never seemed to impact me before this year. For those of you who are non-scrapbookers, the theory behind One Little Word is to choose one word to focus on throughout the year instead of making general resolutions or proclamations.

This year, something hit me and I immediately knew I wanted to do this. My word is balance. I want to bring more balance into my life in sooooo many ways. I probably won't be public about all of them but I will be using Ali's monthly prompts all year long and will probably share those layouts here. My January layouts are below.

 
And, yes, I'm not following Ali's specific product suggestions - I am doing an 8.5 x 11 digital album. And I love it so far. :)

One of the things that I'm going to be attempting to balance are my entries on this blog. I started it almost 6 years ago now as part of my role in the scrapbooking industry. It has morphed into so much more and, at times, simply becomes a dumping ground for my thoughts and worries and photos. In an attempt to find more balance, I want to bring more of my scrapbooking and quilting back into the blog - to get closer to the original goal of blogging that I had.

Those of you who are family members and friends and who are looking for goofy stories or photos of the kids - that won't stop. I'll just be adding more of the creative me back into it.

Balance. :)